What's that smell?

Last week I went to tan.  Nothing new or interesting about that.  I walked in, said hi and probably asked for an upgrade on the bed.  As we were discussing my bed arrangements, a feller came skipping down the hall loudly interrupting us.  For future references we will call him spaz attack. 

"Can you do my back?" he said.  I looked around HOPING he wasn't asking me, I don't even know who he is!  He wandered around behind the counter, and obviously couldn't see the sign saying not to, on account of his sunglasses being on INSIDE.  His shirt was missing...I think he lost it in the hallway during his cheer routine.  After he was told to "step back sir" he again asked to be rubbed down.  She said she would after she cleaned my bed.  He decided then he should maybe go pee while he's waiting.  As he cart-wheeled down the hall I looked at workerbee and contemplated making fun of him but wasn't sure if he was a buddy or not.  However, I am fairly sure I made an "is-he-for-real?" face.


My bed got cleaned, and as workerbee came out to tell me, spaz attack came running down the hall, arms flailing, screaming like he was being chased by a drone of hornets.

"EW! OMG THAT BATHROOM IS RANCID IN THERE!"

Workerbee, quick  to reply asked "Did ya poop?" to which spaz attack said "EW! NO I did NOT!"  Thank my lucky stars my bed was ready because I was not sure I could handle any more of this guys crack rush.  As I was walking back, I heard him pleading saying "I just shaved my back, so its okay.  Please?"  *chokes back vomit*