It's no secret that we are going to the Farmer's Market on the regular, and changing how we eat around this hizzouse. Clearly, that also changes how I feed the tiny humans because I refuse to buy too many processed/store bought meal products. I have to get crafty sometimes with them. They are totally digging all the fresh fruit, fresh produce (and will eat squash if I sneak it in) and most whatever I put in front of them. I've been sneaky enough to make healthified pizza, homemade "hot pockets" which were a hit, burritos, beef pot pie, "mac and cheese", spaghetti out of my beloved sketti squash, and loaded baked "princess potatoes" (because I had used the purple potatoes and those were regarded for high Peruvian Kings back in the day, so that makes them princesses to get to eat that kind of tater!) to name a few. I've also been buying Almond milk for myself on the whim that I choose to drink milk. They always ask me about it when I pour some out so I thought I would be sneaky, get some Rice milk, and just pour them a small glass and not say anything to see if they noticed.
Tuesday
We have incredibly good luck.
June 1-3, 2012. I had spent the weekend in St. Louis with Goose camping. We were not technically camping though, I don't consider spending the day at a campsite and then sleeping in an apartment for the night camping. However, the airbed happened to fail and we had to sleep on a 3 inch thick who-knows-how-old futon mattress, so it was LIKE camping! And the city lights presented a moonlit ambiance ... or not. Saturday night we got back to the apartment incredibly late, okay it was like 130am Sunday morning. Parked our cars on the street and went to sleep. In the apartment, not the streets. We might as well should have. We spent Sunday having a lovely day in CWE with Dustbuster. We decided on going out for dinner, the three of us and the doggie. I figured we would take my car so I could just drop them back off when we were done. I was distracted with the ShyannBelle trying to avoid peeing when I looked up and saw Goose frantically looking around in circles. Then I looked over to where he was looking. The spot he parked the truck. But...it was empty.
Saturday
I will tackle you to the ground
There are just some things you will fight anything and everyone for. I call it being passionate about what you love. *shifty eyes* Or crazy.
I was your typical preteen though my parents would maybe beg to differ. OKAY FINE. I was a nightmare from the time I was mobile/vocal. I made them question their sanity and ability to survive another child if it turned out like me. Eventually they gave up and had two more kids but luckily for the parents they were a bit tamer than me. To call me over dramatic is an understatement.
One lazy preteen Saturday I was feeling extremely needy for some chocolate. It was probably that time where a girl craves salty and sweet more often and I was looking for some chocolate to fulfill my needs. Any chocolate would do. Usually, I would find my mom and throw myself on the floor and roll around whine until she told me I was weird and send me on a frantic quest in the kitchen.
My mom was in the kitchen this time, and I walked in there prepared to throw myself down right there in the kitchen floor in desperation. She had just finished cleaning something up and I supersighed to get her to turn around.
*supersigh*
"MOOOOOOOOM, do we have any chocolate? I NEEEED IT. I am just going to DIE!"
She turned with a guilty look on her face. She had just taken a bite. Of a cookie. A chocolate chip cookie. I dropped my jaw right on the floor as she shrugged. With her mouth full, she said "I'm sorry! This is the last one! But you can have a bite of it."
Then it happened. She held the cookie out, and I was prepared to say NO! ITS NOT THE SAME in a dramatic fashion when a lowly chocolate chip FLEW out of the cookie and in slow mo I watched it fall to the floor. At the same time I saw it hit the floor, so did my Miniature Sheltie. We looked at each other, me and the dog, but more me at her. She started for that chocolate chip and I dove for the ground, grabbed the dog by the neck and put her in a half neslon just at the second her tongue was about to stick out and lap up the chocolate chip. I screamed "NO! MY CHOCOLATE CHIP!", held the dog down and picked up the chocolate chip. Though it felt like a 10 minute struggle it was only .002 seconds.
My mom, who was watching of course, nearly dropped her cookie right out of her hand. Her eyes popped right out of her head and said "BRI! YOU ARE NOT GONNA EAT THAT OFF THE--"
In triumph I stuck that chocolate chip right in my mouth from the floor, and millimeters from the dogs tongue. I didn't care. It was a chocolate morsel. I assume the look of bliss came over my face and it was comical to her. That or she was wondering what she did wrong in raising me, that I would wrestle a dog to the ground for a teeny tiny chocolate chip. Or maybe it was the whole scenario that played out in front of her eyes while she was trying to chew her first bite of cookie. Whatever it was, she doubled over in hysterical laughter and could barely speak the words.
"Good Lord, Bri!" *howling cackles* "I could have given" *snorts and laughs* "You the rest" *chokes on bite and continues to giggle* "of this cookie!" *hysterical fits of uncontrollable laughter*
"No, I just wanted the chocolate, I am good now." I said, and walked out of the kitchen leaving my mom to pee her pants in privacy.
I was your typical preteen though my parents would maybe beg to differ. OKAY FINE. I was a nightmare from the time I was mobile/vocal. I made them question their sanity and ability to survive another child if it turned out like me. Eventually they gave up and had two more kids but luckily for the parents they were a bit tamer than me. To call me over dramatic is an understatement.
One lazy preteen Saturday I was feeling extremely needy for some chocolate. It was probably that time where a girl craves salty and sweet more often and I was looking for some chocolate to fulfill my needs. Any chocolate would do. Usually, I would find my mom and throw myself on the floor and roll around whine until she told me I was weird and send me on a frantic quest in the kitchen.
My mom was in the kitchen this time, and I walked in there prepared to throw myself down right there in the kitchen floor in desperation. She had just finished cleaning something up and I supersighed to get her to turn around.
*supersigh*
"MOOOOOOOOM, do we have any chocolate? I NEEEED IT. I am just going to DIE!"
She turned with a guilty look on her face. She had just taken a bite. Of a cookie. A chocolate chip cookie. I dropped my jaw right on the floor as she shrugged. With her mouth full, she said "I'm sorry! This is the last one! But you can have a bite of it."
Then it happened. She held the cookie out, and I was prepared to say NO! ITS NOT THE SAME in a dramatic fashion when a lowly chocolate chip FLEW out of the cookie and in slow mo I watched it fall to the floor. At the same time I saw it hit the floor, so did my Miniature Sheltie. We looked at each other, me and the dog, but more me at her. She started for that chocolate chip and I dove for the ground, grabbed the dog by the neck and put her in a half neslon just at the second her tongue was about to stick out and lap up the chocolate chip. I screamed "NO! MY CHOCOLATE CHIP!", held the dog down and picked up the chocolate chip. Though it felt like a 10 minute struggle it was only .002 seconds.
My mom, who was watching of course, nearly dropped her cookie right out of her hand. Her eyes popped right out of her head and said "BRI! YOU ARE NOT GONNA EAT THAT OFF THE--"
In triumph I stuck that chocolate chip right in my mouth from the floor, and millimeters from the dogs tongue. I didn't care. It was a chocolate morsel. I assume the look of bliss came over my face and it was comical to her. That or she was wondering what she did wrong in raising me, that I would wrestle a dog to the ground for a teeny tiny chocolate chip. Or maybe it was the whole scenario that played out in front of her eyes while she was trying to chew her first bite of cookie. Whatever it was, she doubled over in hysterical laughter and could barely speak the words.
"Good Lord, Bri!" *howling cackles* "I could have given" *snorts and laughs* "You the rest" *chokes on bite and continues to giggle* "of this cookie!" *hysterical fits of uncontrollable laughter*
"No, I just wanted the chocolate, I am good now." I said, and walked out of the kitchen leaving my mom to pee her pants in privacy.
Thursday
You ever try to each a three-year-old a joke?
Because you SHOULD. Ever try to teach two three-year-olds a joke? Even.better. Unless you are the type of person who gets annoyed about repeating yourself over and over for an hour trying to get them to say it right. You'd think the joke would lose all funniness, but no. No it does not. However I am a rare breed and I find things funny decades later no matter how stupid it is. Like you'd think I wouldn't find it hilarious when Tom Hanks in his ill-fitted tuxedo is at that fancy banquet chewing on a baby corn like it's real corn on the cob. But I do. I REALLY do.
Even funnier is when their parents are sending you texts asking you what in the world their kid is talking about.
"WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY KID?!?" "Why is my kid talking about marine life while slapping her knees in giggle fits? I don't get it, lets make it a bug."
Okay, no that wasn't really said. But what WAS said was "Do you know how long it took me to get that joke?" and of course I laughed all over the floor like that rolling on the floor yahoo emoticon but with less roundness.
Are you ready?
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
FSHHHH
*rim shot* Thank you, I am here all week!
*beauty pageant waves*
Even funnier is when their parents are sending you texts asking you what in the world their kid is talking about.
"WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY KID?!?" "Why is my kid talking about marine life while slapping her knees in giggle fits? I don't get it, lets make it a bug."
Okay, no that wasn't really said. But what WAS said was "Do you know how long it took me to get that joke?" and of course I laughed all over the floor like that rolling on the floor yahoo emoticon but with less roundness.
Are you ready?
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
FSHHHH
*rim shot* Thank you, I am here all week!
*beauty pageant waves*
Friday
What's that smell?
Last week I went to tan. Nothing new or interesting about that. I walked in, said hi and probably asked for an upgrade on the bed. As we were discussing my bed arrangements, a feller came skipping down the hall loudly interrupting us. For future references we will call him spaz attack.
"Can you do my back?" he said. I looked around HOPING he wasn't asking me, I don't even know who he is! He wandered around behind the counter, and obviously couldn't see the sign saying not to, on account of his sunglasses being on INSIDE. His shirt was missing...I think he lost it in the hallway during his cheer routine. After he was told to "step back sir" he again asked to be rubbed down. She said she would after she cleaned my bed. He decided then he should maybe go pee while he's waiting. As he cart-wheeled down the hall I looked at workerbee and contemplated making fun of him but wasn't sure if he was a buddy or not. However, I am fairly sure I made an "is-he-for-real?" face.
My bed got cleaned, and as workerbee came out to tell me, spaz attack came running down the hall, arms flailing, screaming like he was being chased by a drone of hornets.
"EW! OMG THAT BATHROOM IS RANCID IN THERE!"
Workerbee, quick to reply asked "Did ya poop?" to which spaz attack said "EW! NO I did NOT!" Thank my lucky stars my bed was ready because I was not sure I could handle any more of this guys crack rush. As I was walking back, I heard him pleading saying "I just shaved my back, so its okay. Please?" *chokes back vomit*
"Can you do my back?" he said. I looked around HOPING he wasn't asking me, I don't even know who he is! He wandered around behind the counter, and obviously couldn't see the sign saying not to, on account of his sunglasses being on INSIDE. His shirt was missing...I think he lost it in the hallway during his cheer routine. After he was told to "step back sir" he again asked to be rubbed down. She said she would after she cleaned my bed. He decided then he should maybe go pee while he's waiting. As he cart-wheeled down the hall I looked at workerbee and contemplated making fun of him but wasn't sure if he was a buddy or not. However, I am fairly sure I made an "is-he-for-real?" face.
My bed got cleaned, and as workerbee came out to tell me, spaz attack came running down the hall, arms flailing, screaming like he was being chased by a drone of hornets.
"EW! OMG THAT BATHROOM IS RANCID IN THERE!"
Workerbee, quick to reply asked "Did ya poop?" to which spaz attack said "EW! NO I did NOT!" Thank my lucky stars my bed was ready because I was not sure I could handle any more of this guys crack rush. As I was walking back, I heard him pleading saying "I just shaved my back, so its okay. Please?" *chokes back vomit*
Wednesday
Let me channel my inner Fraulein Maria
and sing "These are a few of my favorite THIIIIINGS! WHEN THE DOG BI-Bi-bites..." *shifty eyes*
Summer is practically here, and that means that there are certain products I need and can't live without during the warm times. If I lived near the ocean though, these things would be staples. Okay, this is kind of a girly post so boys...thanks for looking but nothing to see here, move on. Unless you LIKE girly things and then by all means, stick around!
I am not going to talk tanning stuff because for me, I haven't found a FAVORITE lotion and to be honest I use whatever my tanning salon gets in that year. And I use spf 50 on my face and shoulders outside anyway, and I don't think the brand matters so long as you protect your skin. Get a really good base tan by going slow and using high spf's and by all means, don't get burnt! Use a sunblock until you get your base tan. Protect your skins, peeps...you only get one epidermis. That's the end of my PSA.
Saturday
baseball talk on a smart phone
...and some other random chitchat, but mostly its about baseball because well I like to watch baseball, and I like to chat Dustbuster about it. Sometimes though, autocorrect doesn't like baseball players names.
me
Why did futile have that oven mitt on?
12:56 PM
Dustbuster
I didn't see it
me
I knew you are a terribly fan and don't watch
He had a big mitten on over his batting glub
When he was on base
1:00 PM
Dustbuster
Wooooohoo
me
Don't pretend you are watching
Dustbuster
I always pretend
me
That guy just missed the ball
Dustbuster
he did that last time we played them too
1:09 PM
me
Its was nice that Freese got a hr on hims birfday
1:15 PM
Dustbuster
Woop taxi is on fire
me
I hope a taxi has a fire extinguisher, but yay for Yadi's hr! he's on fire!
Woop taxi is on fire
me
I hope a taxi has a fire extinguisher, but yay for Yadi's hr! he's on fire!
1:56 PM
me
Haha that weirdo commentator is lolling about that old guy..harharharh
Dustbuster
Ha!
me
Well they are kinda funny today!
Dustbuster
You are kinda funny
me
I try sometimes
Niiice jay
So shy and I went to the market jiggety jog
But I stopped at sonic for a lemon berry cream slush
And as im backing out....I look over and that dog was trying to stick her tongue in my cup for some cool whip!
Dustbuster
Did she drink it all?
me
I said what do you think you are doing you loony toon!?!?!?
2:09 PM
me
No I scooped out some cool whip for her but she wasn't getting my slush
2:10 PM
me
I don't get that negative goatee on bogged. boggs
2:14 PM
me
Tag. You're it.
Dustbuster
You would look funny with one
2:16 PM
me
I already have a negative goatee basically
Dustbuster
Sociopolitical.
me
Im not political at all
Dustbuster
Oh
me
Nice base hit
Dustbuster
Ur a base hit
2:22 PM
me
So when we went to M's wedding , and met his wife, she said we should go to KC and hang out...then she said maybe a ball game....
I said....i'll only go in my cardinals shirt.
She said...ok i'll wear mine too!
And then we high dived about it :)
Well. Highfived
Dustin
AhahAa
ahaaahaaaa
from the top board no doubt
me
I haven't jumped off the high dive in a loooong time
Dustin
Me too
I'd like to
me
Banana that pitchers reaction! He just
Stomped around. I love it
Dustin
Ahaha
I can't see
me
Who poked your eye out?
2:26 PM
me
Did you vote for allstate the other day? I got an email and I voted my 25 slotted times.
Uh. Allstars
And alloted
2:33 PM
me
I tell you. Skip must have the weekend off from his game throwing
Dustbuster
HE HELPED WIN THE WORLD SERIES
me
He was paid to help win
If he throws all the games then every one would be on to him and know he was getting paid under the table by the mafia
So he only throws some games
Dustbuster
hangs head
Dustbuster
hangs head
2:36 PM
me
That's how he gets all this money on the side....so he can afford all those 'oblique dr visits' which I think is code for 'trips to jamaica'
2:37 PM
Dustbuster
You live in a strange fantasy world
2:41 PM
me
Listening to yadi talkis absolutely fascinating
They just interviewed him and they asked something or other
And he said
"Well we habing fun, and when we habing fun we do guuud and so das what we do we juss habing fun..."
But he really looks like he wants to say, "leeb me alone I need to sower, I smeeel"
But he really looks like he wants to say, "leeb me alone I need to sower, I smeeel"
Dustbuster
Ahah so is furcal
He's number. 5
Indium not trying to compare him to pujols
I'm saying he's better than #1
#.5
me
well i still dunno what you say
Dustbuster
Taxi is #1
me
Actually yadi is #4
me
well i still dunno what you say
Dustbuster
Taxi is #1
me
Actually yadi is #4
He's the best. I already told you this long ago. He is my fren.
2:53 PM
2:53 PM
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| Yu no tush me. |
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