a tornado carried our house off?

Last  Saturday, I woke up to my washer freaking out on me.  I know it was at least on the second spin cycle because I had heard it already but forced myself  to ignore it and went back to sleep.  It was clearly loaded wrong and going off-kilter.  Then my alarm went off and I actually woke my brain up.  I do the laundry, not Goose.  Goose was already awake, as usual.  I rolled across the king size bed and got up grumbling.  About that time Goose came around the corner into the hallway and I said "Who's washing machine is freaking out?"  Our windows had been open all night because it was LOVELY outside.  I got a dirty look, and a "I just finally figured it out!  Guess!"  Not all the way awake, I wasn't in the mood to guess.  I said, "Why do I have to listen to someone else's washer on a SATURDAY MORNING?"

"Bri, it wasn't a washer!"

I opened one eye at him.  "Well?"

"It was neighbor's HORSE kicking the trailer it was in!  That thing woke me up and scared the crap out of me!"

I looked around outside to see if our house had been uprooted while we slept and we were deposited on a farm.  We were still on the same street.  Of course I had missed the culprit of the noise because neighbor had just driven off conveniently at the same time I got out of bed.  "Wait, what?"

"Scared me to death, I thought someone was breaking in.  I got my beater stick out and walked around trying to figure out the noise but couldn't find it!", he said.  I could imagine him carrying this beater stick around like a bat chasing imaginary noises and it amused me.  "Then when I realized it wasn't in the house, I couldn't go back to sleep because it kept happening every FIVE MINUTES!  Then when they drove off I realized their horse was kicking the trailer!"

"Who leaves a horse in a trailer all night?  Shouldn't she had tied it off at the railing by the front door like at the saloon?  I mean, I'd tie my horse off at the front steps.  That is the logical thing to do."

I bet these guys aren't mad.

Goose set me back on track.  "Missing the point here."

"No I don't think so.  Leaving a horse in the middle of a civilized town is like having a pet skunk.  If I were to leave my horse out, I would tie it off by the trough and feed it barley and oats so it wouldn't kick the trailer down.  Common sense.", I debated.

He agreed with me, "Okay fine.  But the thing kept me up all night kicking all over the place!"

"I'm totally texting neighbor." I said.



So I text the neighbor at 745am and said 'someone's horse was kicking its trailer ALL NIGHT LONG and kept the whole neighborhood awake!'.  I got a reply back really quick with an 'it was a mule, so sorry, I didn't know your windows were open til we left, how can I make it up to you?  Is goose mad?"

A MULE?! Like a DONKEY?!  Well this is even better.  There's a don-kay attempting to kick his way out of a trailer right next to my driveway, screaming about donkey rights I'm sure, and plotting its little plan to roam the neighborhood in search of scraps and little cats to kick across the yards.  I could deal with the stray cat kicking.  Those things are outta control around here.  I wondered if the donkey was scared.  No probably not, by the way its kicks sounded.  He was stark raving mad.  I would NOT like to be on the opening end of that trailer anytime soon.  

Wait.  Why does she have a donkey in a trailer?  She's gonna ride it?  She's too tall for that!  I ended up telling her no worries, that I was just giving her a hard time but not before telling her she needs to keep her noisy ass under control.

Too bad its not as cool as him.
It's back tonight you guys.  The donkey.  In a trailer.  By my driveway.  My windows are closed.

UPDATE:  It didn't spend the night.  It left about 20 minutes later.  :)

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