How much is that boot in the window?

I spied some boots a couple of weeks ago at the tanning salon I knew I needed to have.  They were very similar to a pair I had wanted last year and of course happened to either be sold out of my size or color every place I looked.  I did end up getting a pair sorta similar from my dad, but they were striped and looked like cat in the hat shoes, and tried to kill me the first time I wore them.  What? You never put on a new pair of shoes not knowing they were completely felt lined on the soles, and then step onto a wood floor only to land flat on your back with your skull two inches away from the coffee table corner?  Oh, that's just me?  Probably so.  Anyway I'm kinda scared of them now and I think Dr. Seuss is after me for writing in the Fox in Socks book when I was a kid and reincarnated himself in these shoes, plotting my death.

Look at these cat in the hat boots, now back to me, now back to the boots.  This story is now going to be made of diamonds.  Anyway, I text the Goose "hey I wanna buy some boots, early Christmas gift? OKAY!" and as you should know, that went over just fine.  I probably didn't even have to tell him, but he just so happened to be checking up on me as it were.  I get what I want because I'm the only child.  *shifty eyes*   

So last night after talking with one of the worker bees to make sure they were still there, I went up after work to get them.  When I got there I didn't see them.  I had a small panic attack until I saw them around the corner, being all cute and stuff.  There was ONE pair in the color I wanted and what do you know, MY SIZE!  Well, it was fate.  I had to have them, and have them I would.  New worker bee was working and she started to ring me up...except she couldn't.  She couldn't find where to ring up these boots because, well boots aren't a normal item in a tanning salon.  After a few super confused looks, the computer froze up.  Then things got real fun.  People started coming in to, you know, tan.  

But apparently I shut down the whole system all because I wanted these boots.  By the time the line backed up to four people, a nice man with the salon logo his shirt walked up to the counter to see what was going on.  He was obviously an owner of some sort and just so happened to be there changing the bulbs in a couple beds.   By this time, new worker bee had gotten someone on the phone for help, to no avail.  When the computers froze up for my purchase, that meant it froze up for everyone behind me and they couldn't tan.  I refused to look at them in case they were giving me the snake eyes.  New worker bee was still on the phone with a someone, and bulb guy was now getting on the phone with another someone.  How many bosses do they have there?!

By the grace of the sun goddesses, one of the computers magically started pumping out vitamin D and allowed the pale people of the land to get back and bake.  My boots, however were still the bane of the other computers existence.  Bulb guy was doing everything he could to get this purchase done so I could stop standing in the lobby with my head in my hands.  Finally, the computer allowed him to run the transaction! YAY!  After 50 minutes and trying to run my card in the system twice, those boots were paid for!  For my troubles I got leveled up for 2 upgraded tans.  Of course, I used one right then and there.  I laid in that level 5 bed for my solid 12 minutes and thought about how this could only happen to me, in my life.  I'm sure anyone else buying boots would be a simple short transaction.  I couldn't help but laugh at the thought.

I most definitely did not have time to go get my nails done after all that hoopla so I decided to just run to Aldi for milk and, maybe a bottle of wine.  I pulled up next to a very suspicious looking yellow van, and took absolutely no time getting out and locking the doors and running inside in case a clown or worse came popping out of the van.  I got my milk, and I got my wine in record time.  Suspicious van was still there, waiting to kidnap someone with chloroform coming out of the exhaust pipe so I ran to the passenger side of my car and scooted in.  I totally showed that killer clown what's what! You can't get me! NEENER NEENER!  My mom would've been proud.  Not because I parked next to killer van in the first place, because I was SAFE and didn't get next to the sliding door of death.  Always be defensive, I say.  Okay, I only just now said that.  Lesson of the day? Don't park next to scary yellow vans, and maybe buy your shoes at a shoe store.  Allegedly tanning salons don't like people to wear anything but flip flops, shorts, and tanks.

Totally worth it.

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