The Middle Sister is getting married.  Because I am wise beyond my years and practically the most amazing person I know, she asked me to help her plan the wedding.  I said, "Whatever man," even though she's not really a man.  So I did some checking and found a Bridal Fair in a place NOT HALFWAY between us.   She lives in Oklahoma, and I live in Missouri (for now... *shifty eyes*) so I thought, hey lets meet in Joplin at this one! So we did.  But not before I had a series of events attempt to ruin my day; which HA! events, it didn't work!

First of all, some IDIOT set my alarm for 715 PM instead of AM.  I woke at 830AM when my "check the fire" alarm went off.  When I find that ding dong I will prolly do nothing about it, but I'll threaten to break her arm and hit her with it. Or him.  Secondly, my hair was revolting for waking it up too early on a weekend.   I also have pretty much run out of makeup, which for at home I don't really care.  The tiny humans love me because I am a good dancer, not because I wear lots of makeup.  I finally got out of here and you'd think I was ready to be on my way.  Oh, no!  S.S. Vibe said "You gotta put some gas in me breeze, or I am not taking you ANYWHERE!" Almost two hours after my planned leave time, I left but not before remembering my notebook was on my desk.  *incredibly huge eye roll*

I was super excited for this event because it was at the Downstream Casino and I totally wanted to pretend I was going to play poker.  Or push that button for hours on the slot machines like a crack addict.  But as I met up with Middle Sister, I was reminded that we were not there to gamble, but to look at shiny wedding things. She can be such a downer sometimes.  ; ) I said, "Fine, but I better get snacks."

We let the nice parking lot bus driver take us to the front door, because he looked lonely.  He wanted to make sure we got good and close to the front door, but we swore that even though we were dainty little beings, we could make it the last 3 feet to the door and got out.  I did give him a dollar though because the bus reminded me of Jamaica, the land of tips and long bus rides.  After a bunch of ooohing and ahhing at  the casino, middle sister was able to distract me away from the noise and we found our way to the event.

We walked in and I immediately wanted to start dancing.  Pft, that's what they get for putting on music.  I spied the snacks right away but didn't want to look homeless, so we pretended we just ate and walked past it.  However, the pretty curtain lured us right in and I yelled "OMG LET'S GET THAT FOOD! IT LOOKS SO GOOD!"  They had a Greek spread of spreads!  I piled my entirely too tiny plate up with some pita chips, spinach dip, something that looked (because it was so dark in there) like that thing Tom Hanks spits out at that fancy dinner party in BIG, and some cream cheese with whatever in it.  It was really good and the best part is that it was obviously a dedication to me, since it was named Breezy's.  I almost felt like a cannibal, but I shrugged that off.  We walked around holding our teeny plates and no silverware because they don't trust us with it, and looked at pretty dresses until some other caterer with not as cool a name said we HAD to try his cheese ball!  Well twist my arm!  Ok!  So they piled up our plate in the space we willingly cleared off and topped it with sweets.  We moshed past another dance floor and decided we should try out the food we first saw since we looked like we'd been there a while.  MOAR CHEESEBALL!  This girl was maybe the most excited person ever!  Needless to say the food was so yummy!  We parked our booties down to finish our plate-o-awesomeness while scoping out the wedding cake we could have next.

There were fun photo booths everywhere, but only the cool one we went into.  THEY had hats.  And funny glasses. And coconut and shell bras.  It was a no-brainer.  We  took some beautiful pictures if I may say so myself.  Speaking of photos...who hosts a wedding event and then says "Please, no pictures!"?  Who do they think they are?  Brad Pitt? *scoffs*  I mean you are going there for ideas, and what if you forget your idea and then the whole wedding is ruined because you couldn't take a picture to remember that one thingy you needed to have to make the wedding complete and  then the groom gets mad about it and says, "you kinda suck at planning and I don't think we should do this" and then the bride will constantly feel like a failure and end up old and alone with 42 cats?  This is all on you, event.  All because you wouldn't let that girl take a picture of that archway. *shakes head*

So, Middle Sister signed her life away to a million things in hopes to win something, and as we were leaving this totally excited dude arm-wrestled me and her into signing up for this free cooking class, that if you were picked then you also win a trip!  He tackled me, sat on my legs, and put me in chinese finger cuffs until I agreed to sign up too. OK OK OK man, I'll put my name down too, GAWD.  After that brutal beating, we left and headed out to the mall so I could get my free things at Victoria's Secret.  But not before I decided I had to at least get close to the casino even if it meant going into the gift shop.  I may or may not have bought myself a purple shot glass just to say I was there.  You will NEVER KNOW.

MALL TIME!  Of course I had to go into every single store there was before we made it to VS.  I tried on shorts over my clothes in the clearance section of Charlotte Russe. I put on silly shades that made me look more angry than cool.  I picked out 3840823490 dresses for Valentine's Day.  I wore the Middle Sister out.  I made her walk the whole mall with me because I could.  We were all excited to see the school they built in the mall after the tornado, only to be let down because there's wasn't even a sign saying "Here I am! I'm the coolest school ever because I'M IN A MALL!"  Sister complained and I reminded her that she never gets to window shop with me and this should be a great honor and to not complain about this honor and---oooh we have to go in here!  Basically, I am the best person to go shopping with, unless you are actually on a time limit or mission.

I was finally convinced to leave, and got myself home to Shyann Belle only to get a call from a weird number.  Because I thought it was the Dustbuster calling from not his cell phone, I answered it.  It wasn't him, but it was the bullies from the bridal fair that had made me sign up to win the cooking class.  Guess what! I WON!  All I had to do was go back to Joplin sometime this week to do the class, and I will win a vacation to selected destinations! OOOO!  But, I couldn't do the class during the week, I mean the tiny humans depend on me to make them laugh.  I then told the Middle Sister about it, and then told my hubbs, Goose.  He totally freaked out and told me to forget about my work and go to the class because FREE TRIP TO MEXICO!  Though I did some searching on the internet, and found out that it was prolly a scam or at least a HUGE hassle so we chalked that up as too good to be true.  We had to pay our own airfare and maybe some other things.  I really didn't think that we could drive there because the policia federales would prolly attack us and beat us with agave plants and deny us of cheese, tortillas and salsa, and that would make me die.  It was pretty sad though because I had already picked out a hotel and google flew over there to check out the scenery and was planning which restaurants we should try out.  I like to google map things. What?
You are welcome Four State Photo Booths for the free plug.  Seriously folks, they were nice AND they had fun things! Click here to check out their website! 

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